I say this every year and every year I am right: the Stanley Cup Playoffs quarterfinal round is the best two weeks of hockey. It’s going to be great – as long as you can abandon basically all your life’s responsibilities for the duration. I’m sure going to try.
It’s time for predictions, featuring Peter (me), Ian (him), and Keith (a coin). Say, have you met Keith?
Meet Keith, a Coin
Keith is a coin worth 25 cents, which is worth about 10 percent less than it was a few months ago. Keith is a professional sportsbetter, and it has bankrupted him. His personal wealth is almost nothing. This is because he is right only about half the time. And yet he makes predictions with such wild abandon. Don’t be like Keith. Be humble.
The results so far
Using the universally understood 🚽/🌮 score-keeping system.
First Round Peter Ian Keith OTT vs TOR FLA vs TBL WSH vs MTL NJD vs CAR STL vs WPG COL vs DAL MIN vs VGK EDM vs LAK Second Round Peter Ian Keith TBD TBD TBD TBD Third Round Peter Ian Keith TBD TBD Finals Peter Ian Keith TBD And now, predictions.
Ottawa 👴 vs. Toronto 🍁
Peter: The Leafs have been great down the stretch, but it’s been powered by league-high shooting and saving. I’m coming out the gates hot with an upset: Ottawa in six.
Ian: Toronto comes into the postseason as one of the worst five-on-five teams in terms of shot-attempts percentage (a lowly 47.4) and have the third-highest PDO in the league (102.1). This suggests they’re bad and lucky. They’re either the 2017 Penguins and Stanley-Cup-bound or going to endure a first-round exit to Brady Tkachuk’s scrappy Senators team. I pick a first-round exit. Ottawa in seven.
Keith: Ottawa in four.
Florida 🐱 vs. Tampa Bay ⚡️
Peter: Despite the standings, Florida is the better and more complete team. But Tampa’s got Andrei Vasilevskiy having a great season (behind only Hellebuyck) and got a monster 121-point season out of Kucherov. If Tampa can win, they’ll need depth that isn’t in evidence right now. Florida in six.
Ian: Winning back-to-back Stanley Cups is difficult, and Florida looked horrible in games against the Capitals. Honestly, this is going to come down to – oh no – who wants it more, and I’m not sure either of these teams do. But if I had to pick, and that’s what I’m being forced to do here, I’m going to go with another Tkachuk brother. Florida in five.
Keith: Tampa in seven.
Montreal 🇨🇦 vs. Washington 🏛️
Peter: I’m ready to get hurt again. I can’t explain how much the 2010 shaped my life as a writer about sports. This series will be nothing like that. The Habs have fantastic top-end talent, but I trust Carbery to muzzle them. Then it comes down the Caps getting respectable shooting and saving. They’ll get it. Washington in five. I’m so scared.
Ian: The Habs are young, fast, and hungry. Ivan Demidov is a star. And Habs fans are like us back in 2007-08 when the Caps made the playoffs for the first time in the Alex Ovechkin Era. Every part of me wants to pick against the Capitals after they limped down the stretch and lost 8 of their last 12, but there’s something magical about the power of friendship that will somehow be enough. Washington in seven.
Keith: Montreal in seven.
New Jersey 😈 vs. Carolina ☔️
Peter: New Jersey was my preseason pick to win the Cup, but with Jack Hughes out I abandoned it. I don’t think they can go all the way, but I think with Dougie Hamilton back they have a chance at an upset. Mostly I just want this series to go long. Give me another upset pick. New Jersey in seven.
Ian: The Carolina Hurricanes are going to win this series in an absolute romp. The Devils will have nothing for them. Carolina in four.
Keith: Carolina in six.
St. Louis 🎷 vs. Winnipeg ✈️
Peter: I have near zero emotional or intellectual investment in this series. The Blues have no superstars (hot take?) and a villain goalie. The Jets are a bubble team with a globe-bestriding colossus of a goalie. I wrote about how the Presidents Trophy is not cursed, so I feel obligated to pick the Jets. Winnipeg in 6.
Ian: The Blues have Jobu on their side and I’ve watched Major League enough to know what happens here: A huge upset by this rag-tag bunch of idiots. St. Louis in 7.
Keith: Winnipeg in five.
Colorado ❄️ vs. Dallas ⭐️
Peter: If Jason Robertson misses this series, I think the Avs take it in a walk. If Gabe Landeskog plays, I have no idea what will happen and neither do you. They might do worse. Colorado in six.
Ian: This is going to be such a great series, I can’t wait to watch. I have no rhyme or reason to this pick, beyond maybe Jake Oettinger, who is one of the best goaltenders in the league. Dallas in six.
Keith: Colorado in five.
Minnesota 🦊 vs. Vegas ⚔️
Peter: I dreamed last night that at some point Marc-Andre Fleury relieves Filip Gustavsson and runs away with the series, defeating his (hated) old team and keeping his career going another couple weeks. That won’t happen. Vegas in five.
Ian: Minnesota plays so fast, I think they’re going to win this one in a track meet. Minnesota in six.
Keith: Minnesota in five.
Edmonton 🛢️ vs. Los Angeles 🤴
Peter: Oh god, this again?! Is this four years in a row these two teams meet in the first round? And the Oilers have won all of them so far? They’re probably going to do it again, but these are two very good teams – maybe the best matchup of the first round. The Oilers have bigger stars and more offense, the Kings are deeper and have better defense. I just hope both teams have fun. LA in seven.
Ian: What a weird season for the Edmonton Oilers after going to the Stanley Cup Final last year. This season, I think heartbreak awaits them after a non-sensical, out-of-his-mind playoff series by one: Darcy Kuemper. LA in five.
Keith: LA in four.
(Keith is way out of pocket.)
Share your results below. I like this format: CITY in X games. You don’t have to worry about people being confused about which New York you mean because both their asses are already done for the year.
