There was little respite for the Cincinnati Reds in their exhaustive pursuit of excellence on Monday night in Great American Ball Park.

The best of their best, the cream of their crop all rose to the occasion for the complete obliteration of the Texas Rangers. The offense rolled. The pitching, spearheaded by Big Offseason Acquisition™ Brady Singer, was mostly spotless. The big hits were bigger, the stars aligned and shined, and the end result was a thorough 14-3 thumping of the 2023 World Series champions in the series opener.

Elly De La Cruz, the de facto Joe Nuxhall Memorial Honorary Star of the Roster of the Reds these days, filled the stat sheet in a way only he could. He homered twice, added a two-ribbie double, swiped a bag, and drove in a colossal seven runs on the day. He was matched almost evenly by Matt McLain, who slugged his third homer of the young season while going 2 for 3 with 4 runs scored, a walk, and a trio of his own ribbies.

Singer, meanwhile, put the clamps on the Rangers offense in his team debut, limiting them to a lone hit across 7 stellar IP, fanning 8 against just 2 walks in a brutally efficient 92 pitch evening. If that’s what the Reds got in their Florida for Florida swap, well, it appears their decision on roster management can impossibly be discounted.

Jose Trevino and TJ Friedl each had a pair of hits and scored twice, respectively. Spencer Steer got off the schneid with a 2-run single. Jeimer Candelario struck out 4 times, but we don’t have the wherewithal to give a damn about that for the time being – the rest of the Reds were simply far too remarkable to care.

That, right there, is the best win of the Terry Francona Era, and I dare you to throw a small sample size argument at me right now. The vibes, they are simply too good for that after this brilliant display on an otherwise dank, dark, cold Monday night in GABP.